I went to class, but didn’t look up at Josh or shake his hand as I entered. I tried to participate as much as possible, but a breathing exercise where you were supposed to find your ‘happy place’ and from that place try to face your fears, felt hilariously unfitting. I looked up quickly at the end of class and saw Josh throwing questioning looks my way, but I didn’t want to face another worried person and more questions, so I walked out of there as quickly as possible. I heard him call out to me, but just kept walking, hoping he would be stopped by one or more of the women in my class, since they usually stayed to ask him a lot of follow-up questions. I made it out of the building before I heard Josh calling my name again and felt his gentle hand on my shoulder. I spent half a second on the surprised thought that his soft touch didn’t scare me before I turned around to face him. ‘I just wanted to make sure that you were all right?’ he said with that same magically soothing voice that. Both her computer and her bed were hidden from view because of the angle at which I looked. Sometimes I caught a slight glimpse of Lily when she walked around or sat on the carpet in the middle of the room.I opened my bedroom window and stuck my head out, hoping to look into Lily's bedroom from a better position. Immediately when the window opened I felt how much colder it was outside than it was inside. It wasn't windy—it was a still and peaceful night—but it was cold. The night air was like the air inside a refrigerator.Lily was finally visible. She sat on the carpet with her legs sprawled out behind her. Her body faced me but her head was down, so she couldn't see me. She wore pink pyjamas. Her hair was messy because she always had a shower before bedtime. Spread out all over the carpet in front of her were crayons, markers, and paper. She was drawing something, but I was too far away to see what she drew. Her right hand gripped on a black marker—her grip on the marker seemed a.
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